Wounding to Heal Properly

I recently ran across these verses from Proverbs 27:5–6 (CSB)
      Better an open reprimand  
        than concealed love.  
     The wounds of a friend are trustworthy,  
       but the kisses of an enemy are excessive. 

As I meditated on these wise words, they felt counterintuitive to me as a pastor. I am a shepherd, and my calling is to heal my sheep’s wounds, not cause them. How can I win the hearts of my congregation if I say things that hurt them?

Sometimes medical doctors will re-break a bone to re-align it for proper healing. The same concept applies to pastors who must speak the truth in love to their people to re-align their hearts. A good shepherd will painfully remove thorns from his sheep to prevent infection. So too, a good pastor will speak into the lives of his congregation to prevent sin’s corrupting influence.

The sanctification our people need can be difficult and often painful. So how can pastors love their people enough to inflict these “trustworthy wounds”? Here are two suggestions.

First, pastors must win their people’s trust by modeling Christlikeness. Before confronting the sins within our congregation, our people need to see Christ in us. Jesus often spoke boldly about sin, yet his disciples knew he loved them. A pastor must earn the privilege of speaking into his people’s lives. When people know you love them, they will open their hearts to your instruction. This is a sacred trust and one a pastor must not abuse.

Second, pastors must love their people enough to speak the truth about their congregations’ sins and the need for repentance. The proverbs remind us it is better to openly reprimand than conceal the truth. Our goal is not to flatter our people but to construct a firm faith foundation and build them up so they can reach maturity in Christ (Eph 4:12, 29). Our preaching and teaching must not be superficial, we must take God’s Word straight to their hearts. As we speak the truth about their sin and need for repentance, let us always season our words with the salt of grace (Co 4:6).

Sometimes, inflicting wounds is necessary for proper healing. Jesus proved this by dying on the cross for us. It is, as Isaiah foresaw, “we are healed by his wounds” (Is 53:5). Likewise, pastors must care for their sheep like the Great Shepherd cares for his.