Shepherding Parents

“Parents are the primary disciple-makers of their children.” You’ve likely heard this before, maybe you’ve said it before. I say it a lot in my role as the Next Generation Pastor at our church because I believe that is what the Scriptures teach us. The church and the home are called to partner together to raise up disciples among the next generation. Yet how do we, as pastors, shepherd our parents to believe this and take hold of their calling?

Stewardship of Parenting

Pastors, let us first exhort our parents to consider their parenting as a stewardship for God’s glory. While our culture sees children as a means of fulfilling personal desires, Christian parents must understand their children to be gifts from the Lord, for the Lord. Brother Pastor, how are you encouraging and equipping your parents to carry out this calling? Some parents are idle, some are discouraged, some are weak (1 Thess. 5:14), but we are called to patiently exhort and instruct them all.

Sincerity in Parenting

Let us also, pastors, model a sincere faith before our people. A sincere faith is one that is absolutely convinced of the sovereign and saving work of Christ. Many of us are tempted to avoid displaying or discussing any weakness in our walk with Jesus. We want to put on a front that conveys unwavering faith and perfect obedience. Certainly we are called to pursue holiness (Heb. 12:14) and God works through our life and our teaching to save others (1 Tim. 4:16). However, a sincere faith is one that confesses sin, seeks forgiveness, and relies on the grace of Christ to save. Too often, when we discuss passing the faith down to the next generation, we inadvertently communicate that the salvation of our children primarily comes at the hands of parents. This can lead parents into fear, frustration, or pharisaism. They are afraid that one sinful moment, one careless word, or one missed opportunity will result in eternal damnation for their child. They become frustrated when their parenting formulas don’t result in the spiritual results they anticipated (and perhaps wrongly expected from God). Or they fail to admit their weaknesses before their children while harshly demanding adherence to God’s law in ways they themselves have ignored. Instead of hypocrisy, our children need to see sincerity. Our faith must be sincere (James 3:17), magnifying the grace of God toward frail and faulty sinners. Pastor, preach a gospel of God’s sovereign, saving work, dependent not upon our parent’s ability to provide the perfect example or detailed formula but upon the gracious and extravagant love of God! As parents see you pastor out of a sincere faith, they are given an example for their household.

Sanctification through Parenting

Finally, pastors, let’s help our parents to see that the call of parenting is not only aimed at the salvation of our children but at the parent’s sanctification as well. Paul Tripp, in his book, Parenting, reminds us, “God hasn’t just sent you to do his work in the lives of your children; he will use the lives of your children to advance his work in you.” Remind your parents that God, in His wisdom, gave them their particular children and assigned them to be parents. God has a plan and purpose, and He does not waste a single opportunity to shape us into the likeness of His Son. Every challenge, every hard conversation, every tear and cry of desperation is a potential moment of divine sculpting. Your parents need hope. They need to see that God is working. As you encourage them, be reminded yourself of His purposes in your pastoring and rejoice in His faithful, loving work.

By now you likely see that we, as pastors, need to be reminded of these realities in our pastoring as well. As under-shepherds we have received a stewardship that we are to live out in sincerity, trusting that God is completing the work He began in us, even as He graciously uses us to complete His work in others. Take a moment to thank the Lord for His kindness to you in Christ Jesus. To God be the glory!